Birth Plan: I’m kind of an asshole when it comes to labor and delivery.

Let me start by saying that we have some amazing friends and family who love us dearly and would do anything for us. You know who you are and you know (I hope) how much we love and appreciate you.

That being said. If you were not there for the conception, you are not allowed to be there for the delivery. Period. (For the smart asses out there, this obviously excludes those I’m paying.)

I’m calling myself an asshole, unapologetically mind you, because I’m not just referring to “being in the room.” I’m referring to the whole hospital. I don’t want anyone in the waiting room, wandering the halls, dancing in front of the nursery, or sitting in the freaking parking lot.

You will stress me out.

You will make me feel pressured to “hurry up” so you can see my baby.

Not going to happen. This is something that is for my husband and I to share together.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I WANT VISITORS. I want to show off my new baby. My friends and family are MORE THAN WELCOME to come and see our new addition. It just needs to be a couple of hours later, after a few things happen.

My legs need to be out of the stirrups. There are things that need to be done once the baby comes out that I don’t want to share with anyone.

My husband and I get to have our skin to skin time, before the baby gets a bath. This is important to me. You only get one chance at this and I’m not about to have that taken away from me.

I want to breastfeed. The first few times is awkward as it is a learning experience for everyone involved and it isn’t something that I want an audience for.

I want to get out of bed and pee. Which means my epidural needs to wear off and the catheter needs to be out. The first time you stand up is… not something anyone needs to see. (Thank GOD my hubby had passed out by that point when Parker was born, because he may have fainted) Just trust me.

I have explained my feelings and wishes to my friends and family and thankfully everyone is really understanding and respectful. I guess I just wanted to write this for people out there who feel the same but don’t know if they should stand up to their loved ones and stick to their guns about what they want. To that I say, they will get over it and you will never regret having those first few hours alone with your new baby. You don’t get them back. You have spent the past 9+ months growing this life so you shouldn’t feel selfish for wanting first dibs with them.


2 thoughts on “Birth Plan: I’m kind of an asshole when it comes to labor and delivery.

  1. I agree with you 100%!! I had a scheduled c-section which turned into an emergency one and everyone was in my room waiting and it just drove me nuts and I told everyone I didn’t want anyone there except my now fiance and my mother cause if was my 1st child. No my aunt and to be nosey and be there. I was told when they brought my son up to the nursery my aunt pushed my fiance and mother out of the way to see him before they could and all she is, is the aunt and that’s just not right.

    I just don’t like the idea of a lot of people there and giving you the pressure, so I def don’t blame ya and hopefully your family & friends respect your wishes. I hope you have a good delivery with your child and may it be special just you and your husband!

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