Excuse: I’d rather be fat & happy than skinny and miserable.
I was talking with my brother yesterday and we were talking about the changes that Matt and I have been making with our mission to get healthy. He made the comment that he could NEVER weigh his food and he would rather be fat and happy than skinny and miserable. I paused when he said this and just thought, then you don’t get it. Nothing I can say will make you understand, because you are not ready to hear it. It’s just going to be crazy talk to you.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m sure there are truly happy “fat” people. I’m just not one of them. I never have been, and never will be. I will forever be thinking about my weight and my body and my health because it is something that I care a great deal about. I’m also not saying that all skinny people are happy. Not even close. When I talk about people being happy and fit and healthy, the people that I picture in my mind and are the people that I’m referring too are those that have worked for their body. They are the weight loss success stories. They are the biggest loser folks. They are the people who have literally worked their ass off for how they look. From what I see, it’s those people that truly appreciate their health and fitness and small dress size because they have been to the other side. They have had the years of being unhappy with their bodies and then they decided to finally do something about it. It’s their determination, strength and drive that I admire and aspire to have.
I don’t want to find happiness and comfort in food anymore. Food is for nutrition. It is fuel for my body, so I can make my body do amazing things. I want to find my happiness and comfort in the fact that I have pushed my body to the limit that day and truly amazed myself. I want to see and feel that wonder and bliss of taking my health and body into my own control and molding myself into someone I’m proud to be.
In the past I’ve tried to convince myself that I’m happy with the body I have now. That I just like food too much to give up the “freedom” to eat whatever I want, whenever I want it. But it’s a lie. I might find satisfaction in that cupcake (or 3) or eating a whole pizza or stuffing myself full of whatever strikes my fancy at that moment but it’s short lived. Soon I’m just looking for something else. This is a food addiction. As a food addict, and because I can’t go without it, I’ve got to change my view of food and it’s purpose. I’m learning to eat for the nutrition, not the pleasure. Now, it’s not like I don’t enjoy what I’m eating. I still love to eat! I’m just choosing things I love that have actual nutrition value and can fuel my body. I’m also learning to love new things to replace my old unhealthy choices. I fully believe that I can be healthy and thin(ner) and still love to eat while enjoying what I eat. It just comes back to choosing the right foods and the correct portion.
I’m not saying that there wont be days when I (we) indulge a bit. Yesterday (Easter) was the 1st big challenge that we have faced since embarking on our lifestyle overhaul. We knew that it was coming and that our family dinner wouldn’t be prepared by us. That we wouldn’t know exactly what we were eating, and that tracking calories was going to be an issue. BUT THAT IS OKAY. We even indulged in a bit of the famous Easter Chocolate too. We did our best to track our calories and then we put in some extra time into working out because of what we ate. I gotta say though, I felt like crap at the end of the day! The sugar high and subsequent crash afterward was awful! It was the 1st time that I had had that much (great tasting) very unhealthy food, and that for me just isn’t worth it. I want to feel good at the end of the day because of the choices I’ve made for my body, not regretful.
Are all fat people happy? This one isn’t. Are all skinny people miserable? Absolutely not. I’m happy and proud to be taking control over my addiction to food. My goal is to feel fit and healthy and feel better about how I look in the mirror.